The mindset shifts that changed my life

In my last blog post (March was the best month I’ve had in years and here’s why), I talked about some of the things that led to me feeling like I’m living through some of the best times of my life so far. Recently I’ve been trying to think about what I’ve been doing mentally to lead me there, so that hopefully some of you can reach a similar place. Obviously, these don’t guarantee the perfect life (mine is far from it, but right now I’m really truly happy, and that’s all that matters), but I hope they can make a difference.

 

You are GOLD and you can’t let anyone tell you otherwise

I think one of the keys to confidence is realising how unimportant other people’s opinions are. It’s a long road to having confidence, and I honestly don’t think I’m there yet myself, but the more kind I am to myself, and the better my friendships are, the stronger my confidence is. I’ve learnt that all that matters is how I view myself – the rest will follow. Recycling my self-hating energy into self-loving energy was one of the best things I have done for myself.

giphy
I think the ultimate trick is to channel your inner Donna Paulsen (source: giphy.com)

Be the kind of person you would want to have in your life

This kind of mindset genuinely makes me a better friend to have and it also helps me be kinder to myself. I used to spend a lot of time beating myself up for things that were out of my control, but taking a step back to look at things from the outside made me change my perspective completely. For example, I wouldn’t want to see someone I care about have poor excuses for friends in their life, so why should I let myself be any different? I’ve stopped investing time and energy into the friends that were sub-par, and as a result, I’ve got the best friends I’ve ever had and more. Thinking like this has helped me get more out of my life, as I have higher standards not only for my relationships with others, but also with myself.

 

Stop doing things to form a product for other people; do it for yourself first

This applies to everything from my songwriting, to how I look at uni, to the people I hang out with. The second I just started doing the things that made me happy on an immediate basis, things just kept getting better. There is literally no point in doing things a certain way just to appease other people – ultimately, you’re not going to impress everyone, and you’re not going to be friends with everyone, so you just need to keep the people that are worth having along for the ride.

 

You might as well do *the thing* while you’re still alive

As morbid as it sounds, it makes sense – we’re all only here for a certain amount of time, so we might as well take every risk that’s worth taking. This isn’t really anything new for me personally, as I have always been a “what have I got to lose?” kind of girl, but I think it’s the best thing that I could have taught myself. My friends are always commenting on how “confident” I am in certain situations, and I really don’t think it’s that – I think it comes from a place where I know that I would regret not doing the thing more than I would doing it.

 

Don’t be afraid to let people go

I was so thrilled to have so many messages come in about my post on why losing some friendships was the best thing that ever happened to me. People I haven’t spoken with in years have been in touch about how much they needed to read that post, and how it helped them – and that made me the happiest girl in the world! Do give it a read if you haven’t already, it’s a nice, honest reminder that you will always end up stronger and better than the friendships you lost.

 

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I hope this one has been a somewhat inspiring and uplifting read – I’m trying to do a lot of honest writing at the moment because I am really content in where I am and the people I choose to have close to me, and I think everyone deserves to get to this point too.

Thivya x

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This song by Tom is a really lovely one, it’s a nice reminder that the storm always passes and it’s just generally really calming to listen to. Hope you love it as much as I do.

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